Cheryl Gnagey - Author, Speaker, Spiritual Coach

Cheryl Gnagey - Author, Speaker, Spiritual Coach

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Are You Willing To Be a Doormat?

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"But even if I am poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you."      (Philippians 2: 17)


Being a doormat is simply not on my priority list, and I doubt it is on yours either.  In this day and age, no one encourages you to be doormat....ever.  The prevailing thought in our culture is that it is never good to be a doormat for anyone.  We are taught that we should never let anyone walk over us. To do so is to impede our own person-hood, lowering us beneath another.  On the surface this may seem right to you because being a doormat always has had a negative connotation; however, this mindset stands in direct opposition to the Word of God. 

In My Utmost For His Highest yesterday, this verse (above) and Oswald Chambers's wisdom is used to counter the philosophy that the world offers us.  In the devotional we see Paul speaking of being "poured out like a drink offering" over another person's ministry, and gladly rejoicing in being able to do so.  It is so important to see that Paul was drawing no attention to himself.  On the contrary, he is pointing to the ministry of the Philippians, and rejoicing in their accomplishments for the gospel.  He knew that his part in their ministry was necessary, but not to be elevated higher than what they themselves were accomplishing for Jesus' sake.  This is humility; this is allowing someone to walk over you, and even beyond you, to fulfill their calling.

Too often, though, we struggle with our pride and flesh when someone else is flourishing. We don't like sharing the lime-light with others; we prefer to have it all for ourselves, mostly. But this would never be said of the humbled believer who desires to be poured out as a drink offering over someone else's sacrifice and service.  Like Paul, we must learn to be the simple wine that is poured over the choice piece of meat that is the main sacrifice.  We must learn to be the lesser in light of the greater.  That is the true nature of the drink offering.  We simply cover the sacrifice before it is burned up.  


So, are you willing to be the doormat of another's ministry?   Are you willing to simply be a "drop in the [already filled] bucket"?  Are you ready to be such an insignificant part that no one will remember you even if they call to mind the ones you served.  Will you simply stoop to serve them and then slip quietly into the shadows without so much as a second of attention drawn to yourself?  It is humbling just to consider such a question.  And its consideration likely will show you the amount of pride that dwells within your flesh.


Thursday, January 28, 2016

Persecuting Jesus

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"Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?   (Acts 26:14)






What?  ME?  Persecute Jesus?  I would never persecute my Lord!

That is what my heart wants to scream.  And yet I am guilty of just that . . .  persecuting my Lord and Savior.  And it grieves me to consider the number of times that I have.  Today, while reading My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers, great conviction came upon me as the reality of persecuting Jesus settled deeply within me. God used Chambers, in today's devotional, to bring this conviction upon me with just two words:  Stubbornness and Self-will.

No matter how hard I try to deny it, it is my own stubbornness and self-will that are the tools I use to persecute Jesus.  They are a sword in His side, and they wound the very Spirit He sent to me to help me overcome these sins.  My stubbornness and self-will is what causes me to do my own thing, my own way, and as I see fit.  Chambers argues that this attitude flows from a inner desire for self-respect,  and I think that the respect of others could also be at the root of the sin. When I walk according to this sinful desire,  I dethrone Jesus from His rightful place in my life,  and I set myself squarely upon it.  Whether I like it or not, this is persecution of the One who saved my soul.  

Why is it so much easier to see this kind of persecution of Jesus in Saul than it is to see in myself?  His seems so blatant; mine, much more nebulous.  But there is no difference between him and me.  No difference at all.

And here is another layer to the problem of my stubbornness and self-will.  I am a teacher of the Word.  I espouse its wisdom to you, while at the same time betraying the things I teach. Ultimately, that means I betray the Living Word - Jesus - by not following through myself in the things I teach others.  This reveals that I am not as closely connected to Jesus as I would love everyone else to be.  In the end, that is nothing but hypocrisy.

So, here I am.  I am standing on my own road to Damascus, and Jesus says the same thing to me, now.   Why are you persecuting Me, My precious child?   I have no answer.  Just a heart that feels crushed by the weight of my sin.

PRAYER
Lord, forgive my sin.  Pull me to my feet, that I might stand again, go forward in ministry, and experience a renewed spirit.  May the wounds with which I have afflicted You be healed as I humble myself before you.  In my humility come to me and transform my stubbornness into a pliable follower.  Come and replace my self-will with submission to Your every desire for me. I surrender to You.







Wednesday, January 27, 2016

The Waste of Worry

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"Don't worry about your life..."    (Matthew 6:25)





Worry....we all do it from time to time, some of us more than others.  But it is always the enemy of trust in God, every time we fall prey to it.  Whether we are worried about our family, our finances, our material goods, our education, our health, or any other of the many things we tend to worry about, we are always making a decision to not trust God.  And the truth is this:  Something to worry about will always be seeking to attach itself to our thoughts. Always.  And like a flood.

So what are we supposed to do?  Good question....

I have noticed in my own life that the best answer to the question and solution to the problem of worrying begins with taking the worrisome thought captive.  When I am able to capture the thought and look at it for a moment, then I am faced with a choice.  Secondly, because emotions can play such a huge role in what I will choose, then I have to crucify my feelings about the circumstances I am worrying about.   They have to be dead to me or I will choose to continue worrying because I can't get away from how I feel about it.  Here is an example:

Let's say that you have just had to take a cut in pay.  You are worried about whether or not you will be able to pay your bills.  This thought then creates feelings of fear, maybe even anger over why you had to take that pay cut.  If you can not set your feelings of fear or anger aside, then you have taken the thought of worry captive, but it won't last long.  I you do set your personal feelings aside, though, you can take worried thoughts captive, and look at God instead of yourself.  

Having captured the thought of worry, and then setting yourself aside, you will be able to look up, see God, and begin a dialogue with Him.  Your heart will then be enabled to hear what He will have to say to you.   With focus on who God is and your relationship with Him, the Holy Spirit will begin to "raise a standard against" your worry.  

Oswald Chambers says it this way:  
"Common sense shouts loud and says, 'That is absurd, I must consider how I am going to live, I must consider what I am going to eat and drink.' Jesus says you must not."
To claim that "you must" try and think it all through is to say to Jesus that He surely does not understand your circumstances.  Oh how we forget that He understands them -- and their godly purposes in our lives -- far better than we do!  Worry is of no value to the difficult circumstances of life. Worry is nothing but a waste, if we truly trust our God.


PRAYER
Oh, Jesus, how often I have worried when I should have been fixing my gaze on You!  How my flesh wants to think it all through and try to figure out how I am going to fix the circumstance.  How often I haven't even seen You in the circumstance, waiting patiently for me to seek You out.   There is nothing in this life that I need worry about, but just to trust in Your plan for me.  Forgive my self-sufficiency, and forgive my nature of learning so slowly.  
 




Monday, January 25, 2016

Making MORE Room For Jesus

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As I was reading My Utmost For His Highest this morning, I was struck by Oswald Chamber's title for the devotion:   "Leave Room For God".  His guiding verse was Galatians 1:15 which says,

"By when it pleased God...."

Chambers' point in the devotional was that we often look for God to come in a certain way, a particular way, a way that often holds no element of surprise.  Yet God always shows up on His own time schedule and in His own way.  Because of that we should live in a state of expectancy, ready for Him at any time.  That was the very, surprising moment when the Spirit broke free from the page I was reading and spoke directly to me.  Though He used the devotional to get me to listen, what He said had less to do with the devotional and everything to do with my own sinful heart.  It was a completely unexpected visit from Him...

He began to speak to me about the truth that I do not personally practice living in a state of expectancy when it comes to Him just showing up.  He spoke to my heart about me elbowing Him out of my day as I push through on my own.  And when He had my full attention,  He revealed my real problem to me. Look at the image on this blog.  It captures the essence of what the Spirit told me.

You see, my problem is not that I haven't made room for God in my life.  Oh, I surely have. I came to Jesus in need of a Savior when I was a young teenager, and the moment I prayed a prayer about that very need, the Holy Spirit came to live in my heart. It is the home of the Holy Spirit now.  But my spiritual heart has many chambers, and the Spirit does not have full control and access to every dark corner, every back passageway, every single room.  Sadly, I have only made room for Him to the degree that I desire for Him to become the Sole Master of my life.

In many ways He has control of my spiritual journey, but in other areas I have crammed Him tightly into a dark closet in the attic.  I keep Him there because I want to do things my way;  I want to explode in anger when I feel like it; I want to be negative instead of finding the positive points; I want to be listened to more than I want to listen; I want to continue to claim my rights when I have none;  I want to be lord and master and retain some control of my life. In those areas of my life I have certainly made room for Jesus, I just don't let Him into  the whole house.  I keep Him tucked away in an obscure closet where He can have no impact on my life.

I see the error of my actions, and I know what the Word tells me about my condition, but too often I do nothing about it.  Truthfully, other than surrendering to the work of the Spirit in me, there is nothing I can do about it.  My strength and self-will can never be able to bring about the heart change that I need.  It is not me who needs to take control of my heart; it is the Spirit of Christ who must.  But first, I must give over control and authority by surrender to the God of my heart.  And as I do, I know that transformation will occur.  I can expect it!

PRAYER
Holy Spirit of Jesus the Son, You came into me for one reason.  You came to live the life of Christ out of me.  You came to have full reign of my entire heart.  But I have kept You locked away in the attic on so many occasions.  Those times You were robbed of the chance for righteous, peace, and joy to come forth.  And I have reaped what I sowed myself because I was in control of me.  Too many times You have begged to be set free from Your closet in my heart, times when You wanted me to do the right thing, and I didn't; times You wanted me to let You control my emotions and unkind words, but I chose to react in an ugly manner; times when You wanted me to keep my opinions to myself, but I let them fly out of me all the same. These are just a few of the times You have been peering out at me from Your jail cell in my heart.  Forgive me, Holy Spirit.  Oh how I want to get this right!  Come out your cell to me as I come to You.  I want You to have more and more control of my life as I make more, much more, room for You.  May it please You, God, to come to my rescue, right now.   I am expecting it, as I open the door for You to come forth!  Come out and transform and convert me as You please.





Sunday, January 24, 2016

The Backbone of Ministry

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"I have appeared to you for this purpose."     (Acts 26:16)

"I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision."    (Acts 26: 19)


God called a most unlikely person to become a witness to the Israelites and the Gentiles. He called a man named Saul, a man who had been persecuting Jesus personally and His followers.  God's call was clear.  Saul would be renamed Paul, and he would become a servant and a witness of all he had seen and to what God would eventually reveal to to him.  But it was up to Paul to obey the God of the calling.

Ministry is not the backbone of the church today; obedience out of a personal relationship to God is!   You can assume any role in the church-- an elder, a teacher, a worker, a leader, etc--but if you are not in an ever-growing and deepening relationship with God, your service could be done by anyone.  Even by those who do not have a relationship with the Almighty.

God is not interested in what you think you can do for Him.  He is looking for believers who walk daily with Him.  Out of your relationship with God your obedience flows; and out of your obedience to Him your ministry to others flows.   Obedience to God is a far-greater calling than any position in ministry.  Obedience to God is what we all should be aiming at. Yet, it will never be achieved without placing yourself under the overmastering of the Lord.  Oswald Chambers puts it this way:
"Your whole life is to be overmastered by Me; you are to have no end, no aim, and no purpose but Mine."
That is exactly how Paul thought about God's purpose for Him.  It could only be achieved if he would simply allow God to be the director of his life and purpose.  Paul's job was to draw closer and closer to God, growing in intimacy with Him, and out of the relationship, ministry would follow.

The same is just as true today.  When I go off in my own power and leading, I am doomed in ministry.  But when I humbly submit myself to hear all that God has planned for me, and simply believe Him, then the ministry that flows from me will truly be His.  It will be the Spirit in me doing the works out of me.  My daily relationship with God is the backbone of God's will and purpose through me.  My obedience to God is the fruit of time spend in His word and with Him.  This is what supports the ministry given to me to do.  I can't and won't work the other way around.

PRAYER
Lord, help me get this right!  Help me to keep my eyes fixed on the true goal:  to be more and more intimate with You, trusting You and Your plan, not mine.  The ministry and its results I leave completely in Your capable hands.  And I cling to Your hand, trusting You alone to take me on the journey to reach others for Your glory.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Whose Face Do You See in the Mirror?

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"We all, with unveiled faces, are looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit."   (2 Corinthians 3:18)





At some point in every day we all have opportunity to look into a mirror, and we know the person well with the one we see looking back at us.  But when we are believers in the Lord Jesus Christ we join a group of people who now have "unveiled faces".  One might wonder what that even means, but the definition is truly simple.  Having an unveiled face is not something we have to achieve, but it is something that has already been done for us the very instant we believed that Jesus is who He says He is,  our Messiah, our Savior and Lord, and our soon-coming King.  But we do have something we are to do since we already have an unveiled face.  We are to be continually looking at  the glory of the Lord.  We are called to look at the glory of the Lord with much more than a casual glance, though.  We are to give Him careful and thorough study if we are going to be transformed to look like Him. 

This transformation is a progressive sort of change in us.  It does not happen in an instant; it takes us from the glory of our conversion to the glorification that will come when we reach heaven--from glory to glory.  This progressive transformation will have but one purpose:  to change us, from the inside out, into the image of God.  The more we allow this process to happen, the more we (and everybody else, as well) will see the image of Jesus in us.  It will be Him looking back at us when we look in the mirror.   It will be Him in us looking back at those we come in contact with.  When we come to this point in the glory to glory journey, we will be living out the fulfillment of the promise of God found in Romans 8:29, which says:
"For those He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son..."
Bit by tiny bit, we all, who are in Christ, are being conformed to the image of the Savior. Slowly the fruit of the Spirit is being born out of us as His work is being done deep down inside of us.  Slowly, but very surely, the one I see in the mirror every morning is becoming more and more like Christ.  And the transformation in me can clearly be seen in me as I reflect the light of Christ to them.  

PRAYER
Holy Spirit, you are welcome in me.  I surrender to the work You were sent to do in my heart. Show me the places where I am hindering Your process of transformation in me.  I want to get out of Your way, so that one day I will look far more like Jesus than myself.  Leave no part of me untouched by Your holy fire.  Burn away everything that does not look like Jesus. I could never do this work myself.  No guilt, willpower, or coercion done in my own strength will ever be able to produce godly fruit in me.  I only need to bow to You and Your work in me, and the image of Christ will come forth from me.  Come!  Do all of Your work in me that is ordained for my life today.  Then come again tomorrow and the next and the next and every day until I am completely transformed and completely Yours. 


Friday, January 22, 2016

In Everything, Look to God

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"Turn to Me and be saved . . . For I am God and there is no other."     (Isaiah 45:22)

Just what is it that I am looking at most of the time?  I know that I am not looking up as much as I ought to be, that is for sure.  Yes, when there is some kind of an issue, I typically look for God in it.  And when I am studying or teaching or counseling, I am prone to turn my focus to God, as well.  But when everything is just fine, and I am just moving through the day, I find myself looking in one of two directions:  looking around me or at myself.  I rarely will be caught looking to God in the "everyday stuff" of life.

When things are simply going well, I seem to fall into the trap of just living life without turning my eyes upward.  I forget to be thankful and grateful for the simplest of things because I am not seeing God in them.  I am not "praying always".  I am not meditating on the Word of the day.  I am just moving from one thing to the next most of the time.  

It is a concentration issue.  I am very good at concentration.  I am a tunnel-vision kind of gal. When I work on anything, my focus is only on that thing, and I do not hear or see much of anything else.  This can be a very good trait; however, when it comes to my relationship with God there are plenty of opportunities throughout the day that are open doors for me to "multi-task".  By that I mean that I can be focusing on going and getting my groceries while glancing up to God at the same time.  But I rarely think to do that.

Oswald Chambers says this in his devotional today:
The teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is, in effect--'Narrow all your interest until the attitude of mind and heart and body is concentration on Jesus Christ.'   "Look unto Me."
That's just my problem.  My life is not consistently narrowed to just one focus;  my focus takes me in many directions.  Yet, I have seen in those rare moments when I bring only Jesus into focus in the middle of my day, I find my salvation to be very real and all else fades away.  It doesn't matter what I might be looking at--problems, pressures, frustrations, or nothing at all--it simply vanishes when I look up. 

"No matter if there are a hundred and one thing that press, resolutely exclude them all and look to Him.  'Turn to Me,' and salvation is, the moment you look."

PRAYER
Sweet Jesus, how often my eyes are looking at everything around me but You.  I want to know what it is like to keep my eyes looking up to You throughout a whole day.  I am quite convinced that it could radically change the way I move through my days.  But I know that this will not happen just because I want it to.  I need Your help, Holy Spirit, to prompt me to look up more, until it becomes my habit.  Come and help me.  I know this is the right way. Help me to walk in Your way.   

 

Thursday, January 21, 2016

When God Looks Back and Remembers

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"I remember the loyalty (undying devotion) of your youth, your love as a bride--how you followed Me in the wilderness in a land not sown..."     (Jeremiah 2:2)

Looking back and remembering the past can be a very good thing.  Even very recently when we met up with a man we had known well so long ago, we remembered together how very wonderful those 'days of our youth' were.  The 'good old days' have a strange draw to them, days that we were more innocent, more excited, and we delight in looking back at them with smiles.  But sometimes when God looks back and remembers, it often brings sorrow to His heart.

It happened that way to Israel. They had been loyal in their youth, they had loved Him like a young bride loves her husband, and they had followed their God in their early journeys with Him through the wilderness.  But as more and more time passed, they became disloyal to God, loving other gods instead of Him, and beginning to follow the paths that they chose instead of His.  And I am sorry to say that I have been guilty of the same things. God looks back and remembers my past walk with Him and compares it to my 'now', and when He does, He often sees something better in my past than He sees in my now.   

Time, age, and experience has a way of hardening you when you are not looking, slowly over time.  Then one day you realize that, while in some ways you have grown closer to the Lord, in other ways you have stepped further away from Him.  What was once your unfailing devotion and loyalty has cooled to lukewarm; your love for God and others can turn to irritation and frustration while other things in your life take on a greater and greater priority; and you may make decisions based on your own desires instead of seeking God and His will.

But I don't want to be deceived any longer into thinking that the 'good old days' of my deeper loyalty to God can never be the 'good new days' today!  With God all things are possible; therefore, I can enjoy an even deeper intimacy with my Lord and Savior, my Father God, and my Helper Friend than I have ever known before.  Israel never turned back. I do not want that to be my testimony.  

PRAYER
Daddy Father, I have let the coals in some of the chambers of my heart become dying embers of smoke and ash.  Breathe on my Holy Spirit the fire of loyalty, love, and desire to follow.   Fan the cold coals in me until there is a roaring fire blazing through my whole heart.  Let me burn for Your glory!  facebook

Freshness Born Out of the Spirit

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January 20, 2016

"Jesus replied, 'I assure you: Unless someone is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God'
 'But how can anyone be born when he is old?' Nicodemus asked Him. 'Can he enter his mother’s womb a second time and be born?
Jesus answered, 'I assure you: Unless someone is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.  Whatever is born of the flesh is flesh, and whatever is born of the Spirit is spirit.'"     John 3:3-6

I love what Oswald Chambers wrote in My Utmost For His Highest on John 3:3 (January 20).  He gives a great definition of what "being born again" is.  
"Being born again from above is a perennial, perpetual and eternal beginning; a freshness all the time in thinking and in talking and in living, the continual surprise of the life of God..."
My life is to continually show others my "freshness".  So just how does this freshness come forth from me?  And what does it look like?

This freshness will never be created out of what I do; my obedience to God does not produce it and my flesh cannot produce it either.  This freshness that Chambers speaks of can only be born out of the Spirit; it is the Spirit's fruit born out of me.  It is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control in all of my thinking, talking, and living.  This only occurs when I am walking freshly in the Spirit, and will never occur in those times when I am walking in my flesh.  

My whole heart, everything good and bad, but be opened up to the Spirit and surrendered to Him.  He and I must be one, with absolutely nothing coming between us in order for this to be produced.  This is not a one time event, but an on-going, perpetual, endless, moment-to-moment consideration of being a born again child of God.  Following after my consideration of my new life in Christ, I am called to quickly surrender to the Spirit inside of me to walk out the life of Christ through me.   To draw from any other means than God Himself is to consider that means a better choice than God. Depending on my own fleshly strengths is to make me the god of my life and de-throne Jesus. and His Spirit.  It is only as I allow the Spirit who brought me new life through rebirth that His "fresh fruit" can be produced in me.

When I try to produce this fruit of freshness in any given moment, it takes but a few seconds for me to realize that it is not fresh at all. It is stale and close to spoiled, instead.  Truthfully, I am not always fresh.  When I am under my own control I go my own way, in my own opinions, under my own rule and authority.  But when I am surrendered to the Spirit, and under His control, I am go the way that He chooses, which often looks quite different than the path I would choose.  I wear out and get frustrated going my way, but when I stay in the Spirit my strength to love and give and obey comes in an endless supply of Godly freshness.  This kind of freshness can only be born out of the Spirit.

PRAYER
Holy Spirit, I have not surrendered enough of my life to You if even one tiny place in me refuses to surrender.  Forgive my arrogant and self-reliant bent that thinks of "my way" first in so many cases.  I know the truth, but I am not fully surrendered to it.  You are my Helper, and I need Your help!  The problem is this:  usually my first response is to fix and do and think my own thoughts as things crop up in my life.  Yet, I know I am being called to a different response than what I can come up with.  Help me to stop and think of You first in all matters.  Help me to ask of You what You would desire me to think or say or do before I respond in the flesh.  I desire greatly for 2016 to be the year that I grow in the area of walking by the Spirit.  Help me, I pray...  I cannot do this...only You can as I surrender to You. 


Seeing Is Believing (But So is NOT Seeing!)

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January 18, 2016

"Then He said to Thomas, 'Put your finger here and observe My hands.  Reach out your hand and put it into My side.  Don't be an unbeliever, but a believer.'  Thomas responded to Him, 'My Lord and my God!'  Jesus said, 'Because you have seen Me, you have believed.  Those who believe without seeing are blessed.'"     (John 20: 27-29)

I have read this many times and thought, as many have, that Thomas was rightfully referred to as Doubting Thomas.  He demanded proof that it was truly Jesus that was standing before him.  He had already stated in John 20:25 that he must see and touch the scars in Jesus' hands and feet and side if he was going to believe for himself.  But I had never considered that Jesus had already graciously, and without request, shown the other 10 disciples His wounds (John 20:20).  Thomas was not a doubter; he simply wanted to see what the others had been shown.  He wanted what they had been given, something that Jesus chose to reveal to them when he was absent from the group.  

Because I can see these verses in a different light today, I am also able to discern that Jesus was not differentiating between Thomas (the one who had to see to believe) and the 10 disciples (the ones who believed because they had seen), but instead was pointing to their commonality.  All 11 of the disciples were given the great privilege of seeing  the marks on Jesus that proved to them He was truly their Messiah.  This was a great help to their faith.  When Jesus then refers to "those who believe without seeing," He was speaking of all the believers who would not see the nail and sword scars until they met Him in Heaven.    

Seeing the scars or not seeing the scars is not the point.  The point is whether or not we have come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Christ, the Son of the Living God.   The believer's response to Jesus is will always be the same, whether in the 1st century (seeing) or the 21st century (not yet seeing).  It will always be, "My Lord and my God!"  This is the statement of the one who believes.  The blessing comes to all who believe!

PRAYER
Oh Lord, what joy it must have been to have witnessed Your resurrected body!  Who could have not believed who saw You after Your death and burial!  Yet today I see You with my spiritual eyes and believe You are Messiah, and You are my Savior, and You are my Lord God and my soon coming King!  I have believed without seeing with my eyes.  I see with my heart.  Oh Jesus, my precious sacrificial Lamb, how I thank You for taking on Your body what I deserve.  You took my blows, my crown of thorns, my humiliation, my 39 lashes, my crucifixion scars, and my death for sin.  I am overwhelmed to think of it, but my thoughts turn quickly to gratitude that You would seek me out and find me.  I am grateful for the Holy Spirit who called me to You.  I am grateful to be adopted and grafted into Your family.  I am grateful that though not of Your chosen race, I am loved as if I was.  I am forever grateful that all my sin no longer is able to be judged by You, but instead it has been washed away by the blood of Your sacrifice.  "Thank You" will never truly convey what my heart feels right now.  I can only worship You for who You are. . . thanking You for all You have done.

God REVEALS in the Alone Times

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January 13, 2016

"When He was alone with the Twelve, those who were around Him asked Him about the parables."    (Mark 4:10)

It was not among the crowd that the true disciples and followers of Jesus went deeper with Him.  No one asked Him to explain the parables of living while they were in public.  But it was in the quiet and alone times with Him that they sought His answers to all of their questions.  This is interesting to me because I minister in a "crowd" sort of way.  And while questions do come forth in that setting, God's revelation is most evident when I am working with someone one on one. This seems to be a picture to me from my life as to what Oswald Chambers is getting at today.

It is completely by God's design that He works to get us alone.  The very ways that He does this are often blamed on the Devil and his attacks.  We blame him for the things that God is allowing for our own good.  We blame the Devil while all the while God is wanting to reveal something to us.  He uses our alone times of  affliction, heartbreak, temptation, disappointment, sickness, thwarted affection, and broken friendships to capture our attention.  I have seen, quite recently, how this is playing out in my life.  

My Christmas holiday was wonderful;  all the kids and their spouses and children, and one "almost" spouse, all gathered at varying times to celebrate together.   It was lovely . . . all except for the situations of the great-grandmothers.  One had fallen just prior to Christmas and was hurting, both physically and emotionally. For this one, the most of the holiday was about her.  The other one was emotionally disconnected, but that was no new thing.   The first one's situation was much more easily handled; but the second one hurt my heart through a form of yet another rejection.  Regarding her, it was about my own disappointment in her ability to thwart my affection.  She simply did not draw near to me and held me at arm's length.  But since she has been gone, I have heard the voice of Jesus speaking to me, not about her, but about me!  He has not spoken in His normal way to me, through His Word, but clearly to my heart and through others.  In. my heart the whole situation was confusing and upsetting, but then today I read this devotion, and He speaks again:
" . . . the only thing that is clear to you, and the only thing God intends to be clear, is the way He deals with your own soul.  Your brother's sorrows and perplexities are an absolute confusion to you."
I am beginning to understand in these alone times that not only is Jesus here with me in them, but also that He  wants to bring revelation to my soul.  The first revelation came through my almost "daughter," who, when I was sharing my hurts with her, wisely said, "You cannot do her part for her; you can only do your part."  That pierced my heart through, in a very good way.  Jesus clearly was speaking to me through her.  

The second revelation came from her again.  "Just let her be happy in what she believes is happiness.  You won't change her."  Again my heart was pierced by her words.

Now today, this third revelation comes.  The second great-grandma's perplexities are not for me to figure out.  They are "absolute confusion"  to me.  Really, they are irrelevant to me.  Not because of any reason except that God wants to deal with me and my soul.  So, He got me alone in my heartbreak and disappointment to do just that.  He wants to work some more on my heart.
"There are whole tracts of stubbornness and ignorance to be revealed by the Holy Spirit in each one of us, and it can only be done when Jesus gets us alone."
So, at the beginning of this new year,  I want God to deal with more of the complexities of my own heart.  I want my alone times to be times of His revelation to me.  I want, in my alone times, to be free and comfortable to ask the Lord about my idiosyncrasies that need to be rooted out of me.  I want to move forward, toward utter trust in Him.

PRAYER
Dear sweet Jesus, I am ready to lay down all of my issues with my mom.  I am ready to let go of her.  I am ready to let go (again) of all of my hopes and dreams and expectations for a wonderful mother-daughter relationship.  It is enough that You want to work on my responses to her, while at the same time, enjoying what I have in my relationships with You and so many others.  I want to return to feeling blessed in spite of the fact that my mother and I have no emotional connection.  I think I am done with all the "noisy questions of the head" that keep me from being alone with You, that keep me from hearing Your voice calling me to higher ground.  I surrender my broken emotions to You, entrusting them to Your perfect care.  I am ready to leave behind the "victim" mindset and to step into the "victorious" lifestyle.  Help me, Holy Spirit!

Private Encounters With Jesus

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January 12, 2016

"He would speak the Word to them with many parables like these as they were able to understand.  And He did not speak to them without a parable.  Privately, however, He would explain everything to His own disciples."  
(Mark 4: 33-34)

Just like with His disciples, Jesus has both public and private conversations with me.  In church, in Sunday School, and even in my daily study Jesus speaks to me, giving me things to ponder and consider as I am able to understand them.  But there are those not-so-common times when in the privacy of my quiet time or other alone times, He seems to come into the room, pull up a chair beside the fire, lean in closely and explain the deepest of things with me that I had not been able to understand before.

Sometimes those are the nooks and crannies of theology, Hebrew, Greek, etc.  You know what I am talking about...the "Ah-Hah!" moments of conversation.  I enjoy that greatly when I come to fully understand something that has been standing aloof for awhile.  But there are so many other times when Jesus comes to speak privately to me that are not nearly as enjoyable.  In those times He draws near to open my eyes to my sin.  He comes to make me  connect the dots from behavior and attitude to my sinful heart.  These times are even more necessary than the times of enlightenment of the Word, for it is these times that are intended to transform me into the greater likeness of my Lord.  Dear Oswald speaks the necessity of these times in this way:
"The only way we can be of use to God is to let Him take us through the crooks and crannies of our own characters.  It i astounding how ignorant we are about ourselves . . . How many of us have learned to look in with courage?"
It is those very crooks and crannies in my needy heart that will take God all time and eternity to make me after His purposes.  I must see myself as I truly am, without God, in order to see how unworthy I am.  God must bring me to this place, because it is there that I am stripped of all pride and conceit.  He does this by "narrowing" me to the place where it is just Him and me--so private that nothing else exists for me--the place where my pride, conceit, intellect, worldly affections, and a dirty heart no longer exist.
"We listen to many things in classes, but they are noT an exposition to us yet.  They will be when God gets us alone over them."

PRAYER
Lord Jesus, how I have run from these close encounters with You, fearing what will come forth as well as struggling with surrender on Your anvil.  But I pray that this year, 2016, will be the year that our private meetings will increase, that the sin in my heart and the attitudes and actions that follow will be brought under Your authority.  I pray for transformation by the Spirit after You talk with me.  Open my ears to hear all that You would speak to me, but not only hear, but act upon them in alignment with Your purposes.  Mold me into a woman that looks like what You described in Luke 6:47 . . . "I will show what someone is like who comes to Me, hears My words, and acts on them."  

Picking Up My Cross

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January 11, 2016

"As they led Him away, they seized Simon, a Cyrenian, who was coming in from the country, and laid the cross on him to carry behind Jesus."     (Luke 23:26)

In today's devotional, My Utmost For His Highest, Oswald Chambers speaks of the cost to others when I choose to obey God.  He makes several valid points by pointing the Simon who was called upon to carry the cross of Jesus as He obeyed the Father's will for Him.  

  • "We are so involved in the universal purposes of God that immediately we obey God, others are affected."
  • We must trust God to "look after those who have been pressed into the consequences of our obedience.
  • We should be careful not "to dictate to God as to what [we] will allow to happen if [we] obey Him."

While I completely agree with the points made, and they made me think about a consequence of my obedience that had never occurred to me, I can't get away from what the Spirit has led me to concentrate on as I read this passage.  This verse pointed me to Simon, the carrier of Jesus' cross, and my need to do the same.  For this is the obedience I am being called to.  Jesus carried His cross, then Simon carried it.  Now I must carry it, not as my own, but as the cross of Jesus.  This is obedience.  This is surrender.  This is the calling of the rest of my journey on this earth.  It is not a one-time act, as it was for Simon. It is not a physical act as it was for Simon.  It is a daily, moment-to-moment, spiritual act that reveals that I belong to Jesus.  But my position should be exactly the same as Simon's:  behind Jesus.

In order to properly carry the cross of Jesus, I must have Him clearly in my sights.  He must be directly in front of me.  If He is not, then it would be impossible for me to be carrying HIS.  I could be carrying my own, in my own strength, but that is not what He is calling me to do.  

The cross references of this verse are Luke 9:23 and 14: 27, and they are Jesus' words:
  • "If anyone want to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me."
  • "Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple."

I cannot escape the importance of these three verses in my heart and life right now.  I can never be a disciple of Jesus if I am not willing to experience self-denial.  To take up my cross daily is to expect painful situations every day because of my allegiance to Christ.  I cannot "go with Jesus" unless I daily crucify my own flesh.  I cannot crucify my own flesh unless I am truly following after Jesus.  This will be painful!  It will be humiliating, for this is the nature of crucifixion.  But to do this is to obey Christ, and this obedience means I am His disciple.

I fail miserably every day with such obedience.  My attitudes are rotten, and action flows out of those attitude constantly.  I cannot think of the consequences my obedience will cause to affect others because I am not sure that I obey enough to make a difference in their lives.  But this I know:  I desire for that to be changed in me.  I desire to know what it means to deny my feelings, my wants, my desires.  I desire to make the connection that such self-denial is the very crucifixion of my heart that Jesus wants from me.  I will be His follower and disciple as I practice this spiritual discipline.

PRAYER
"Lord I come, I confess.  Bowing here, I find my rest.  And without You, I fall apart.  You're the One that guides my heart.  Lord I need You, Oh I need You.  Every hour I need You.  My one defense, my righteousness.  O God how I need You.  Where sin runs deep, Your grace is more.  Where grace is found is where You are.  And where You are, Lord, I am free. Holiness is Christ in me.  So teach my song to rise to You when temptations comes my way.  And when I cannon stand I'll fall on You.  Jesus, You're my hope and stay.  Lord I need You, Oh I need You.  Every hour I need You.  My one defense, my righteousness.  O God how I need You."

I need You, my Father!  I need You, my Savior!  I need You, my Holy Spirit!  I am failing You and don't want to any more.  Take me up out of the miry clay of sin and set my feet on the solid Rock.  I want to be used for Your glory!



Not Forsaking My Conversion

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January 10, 2016

"Now I send you to them to open their eyes so they may tun from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that by faith in Me they may receive forgiveness of sins and a share among those who are sanctified."   (Acts 26:18)

This verse teaches me the two things that must be accomplished in my life:
  • I must receive the forgiveness that Christ's death on the cross accomplished for me 
  • I must receive the sanctification that Christ's resurrection from death makes available to me

I have lived many years in the forgiveness of God.  It has been the first part of my spiritual journey, but it cannot be my entire journey.  There is the second part that is the sanctifying of my heart, soul, and body.  It is simply not God's design that I receive only forgiveness and grace, but that I also be conformed to the image of His Son Jesus.  Just as He was resurrected from the dead in the physical, I am to be resurrected from the dead in my spirit, to the point that I look more and more like Jesus with each passing day.  Salvation is not only in belief and forgiveness of sin; it is in conversion from the flesh "me" to the spiritual "me".    

All too often I am found studying the Word.  I delight in the fact that it is in the reading and studying of God's Word that my eyes are opened to what God desires of me.  But that should never be my goal without considering my need to surrender, repent, seek forgiveness, and be transformed by all that I read and process.  This is my sanctifying conversion, and it should never be forsaken for the sake of knowledge and understanding.  According to Oswald Chambers defines this sanctification, this inner transformation, this true conversion as this:

"In sanctification the regenerated soul deliberately gives up his right to himself to Jesus Christ, and identifies himself entirely with God's interest in other men."

All focus must be on others for God's sake, not on myself, for my sake!

PRAYER
Oh Father God, how miserably short I have come of Your mark!  My knowledge is great, but my application is lacking!  In desire for You to turn all knowledge into practical application.  I know I cannot do it alone.  I need the help of Your Helper, the Holy Spirit.  And I know that what You need from me is a surrender to this process, a humbling of my all for the sake of Yours.  My prayer for 2016 is that You will work in me in ways I have never experienced before.  Use Your Word, Your Spirit, daily prayer and anything else You desire to fulfill Your goals for me.  My belief is not enough; neither is adding knowledge.  I want to be found walking by Your Spirit in all I do, all I say, all I think, all I feel.  Help me, I pray.... I have forsaken my true conversion long enough.

Sanctifying All Of Me

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January 9, 2016

"Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely, and may your spirit, soul, and body be kept sound and blameless for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."    (1 Thessalonians 5:23)

God sees all of me as important in living a life that is pleasing to Him.  That is why Paul writes about our spirit, soul, and body being completely sanctified by Him.    This sanctification is not difficult to understand.  It is the work of the Spirit within me that sets me apart and separates me from the world and the way worldly people live.  It is a process of transformation that will continue in me until I go to be with Jesus.  The goal of the process of transformation is for me to be progressively conformed to the image of Jesus.  I have know this truth for a very long time now, but it is still not an easy process to go through!  

When the Holy Spirit is searching me out, down in the deepest parts of me, I am sure of one thing:  That whatever He discovers in me, I could never get to.  He goes farther than I ever would or could.  Some things I would like to get to, but others I would hope never were discovered.  Because He can and does burrow deep within my heart, soul, and body, He then operates in His job description.....and cleanses me of what He finds.  I cannot go there....I cannot reach those dim places within me, I cannot transform myself.  It is not my job; it is His.  But what is His job is to cleanse all of me of all the sin within me.  My roll?  It is to bring and keep my sin in His holy light.  

PRAYER
Oh Lord, I cannot cleanse and transform myself.  I need You to do it in me.  But You require something of me.  You desire me to surrender, to bow low in humble submission to You and the work you desire to do in me.  Help me, Lord, not to flounder and miss the opportunity to be made more and more like You.

Only a LIVING Sacrifice Is Useful To God

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January 8, 2016

"When they arrived at the place that God had told him about, Abraham built the altar there and arranged the wood.  He bound His son Isaac and place him on the altar on top of the wood.  Then Abraham reached out and took the knife to slaughter his son."    (Genesis 22: 9-10)

God was not looking for Abraham to kill his son.  God was looking for Abraham and Isaac to identify themselves with Jesus.  The very mountain that God spoke to Abraham about (22:2) was Mount Moriah which is in Jerusalem.  Mount Moriah would become a very significant location.  It would be the place where the temple of God would eventually be built, in the same city where Jesus would be taken to trial, condemned to death, crucified, buried, resurrected, and ascend back to Heaven.  No, God was not looking for the death of the son through whom the Promise of Christ would be given; He was looking for the sacrificed lives of father and son to the ways and will of their God.

I am called to be a living sacrifice (Romans 12: 1).  That does not mean that God wants me physically dead.  He has already determined that day for me, but until then He wants me not only alive, but sold out, sacrificed, surrendered to His will for me.  Just as God already had a sacrifice in mind for Abraham's altar, the ram in the thicket,  God has already given me His desired sacrifice, Jesus His own Son, who died in "Moriah".   God was looking to see if Abraham would withhold part of his life from God.  God tested Abraham with his most prized possession, his son of the promise and covenant.  Abraham did not withhold him from God.  Neither should there be anything or anyone that I would hold back from God.  This is the way that pleases God, that I would be utterly surrendered, in every area of my life.  This is being a LIVING SACRIFICE.  This is how I identify with the death of Jesus.  It is a spiritual death, not a physical death.

I am no longer useful on earth when I am dead.  I can only be useful to God on earth if I am alive and surrendered to Him.  Isaac lived beyond his Mount Moriah experience.  So did Abraham.  They lived to fulfill the plans of God.  I, too, must live beyond my point of salvation, a life dedicated to fulfilling God's specific plans for me.  

PRAYER
To You, O Lord, I surrender myself today.  Use my surrender to further Your glory!  O, how I desire to be useful to You today!  As I contemplate my identification with Your death, let me live to die to everything that is not of You.  Holy Spirit, help me see CLEARLY what is death to me today.  Show me what you want put on the altar and sacrificed for Your glory.



The Strong, Calm Sanity of Intimately Abiding

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January 7, 2016

Jesus said to him, "Have I been among you all this time without your knowing Me, Philip?"    (John 14:9)

Philip was not being chastised by Jesus, though it appears as such.  Jesus was teaching Philip that there was a still more intimate way of knowing Him.  As a disciple, Philip had known personally what it feels like to walk along side of Jesus, to watch Him heal the sick, to experience the miracle of Him feeding the 5000 and the 4000, to listen to the voice of Jesus speaking words of life.   But to be blessed by His blessings and to know His word is not the most intimate of relationships with Jesus.  The most intimate relationship with Jesus is to abide in Him.  Such intimacy is the result of identifying with His thoughts, His heart, and His spirit.  

For the rest of my life, this is my calling:  to abide in Christ so intimately that His thoughts, heart, and spirit are so alive and active in me that nothing of me can be seen; Jesus is the only impression left on those I come in contact with.  The fruit that is born out of me when I abide in Him grows effortlessly, unlike the fruit I try to bear with great labor and intensity.  The fruit looks like Jesus, not like me.  

As Jesus and His Spirit continually work in me to bring me to such intimacy, their impression is left on the world they encounter through me.  As They are given the freedom to press out of me (through my humility and surrender), they press into world that is like clay.  As I come in contact with others, the indentation, the impression that is left will resemble Them, not me.  The only thing that others should see in me is the impression of Them in me.  

My life's impression on others is not intended to be impatience, shortness, spiritual superiority, irritation, or any of the like. If I am making any impression at all, it should look like strong, calm, sanity!  And that is the picture of Jesus in one who is abiding intimately in Him.


Hoarding My Blessings

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January 6, 2016

"From there he (Abram) moved on to the hill country east of Bethel and pitched his tent, with Bethel on the west and Ai on the east.  He built an altar to Yahweh there and called on the name of Yahweh."    (Genesis 12:8)

Abram had been called out of his country to a new place that was given to him by God.  The land was a blessing and a gift from God. As Abram arrived in the land of inheritance, he began to build altars of worship to his God, Yahweh.  It was not simply a monument to God, but a chance for Abram to give all glory back to God for the incredible blessings God had bestowed on him.  Abram was giving his blessings back to God.  It is in doing this that Abram refuses to hoard up his blessings of God for himself, but instead return it to the Giver of the blessing.  In this way, by not clinging to it for himself alone, Abram opens the door for God to use this blessing for others as well.  The altar built stood in direct opposition to that attitude of feeling blessed and selfishly holding onto the blessing for himself.  Had he done that, he would have likely become proud and arrogant in his blessing, and he would have robbed others (all of God's chosen) of experiencing the blessing.

This causes me to stop and consider the many blessings that I have been given, and whether or not I am guilty of robbing others of enjoying the blessings too.  Have I been hoarding up my blessings for myself?  Have I been unwilling to share what You have so richly blessed me with?  Oswald Chambers says this about hoarding up your blessings:
"If you heard a thin for yourself, it will turn into spiritual dry rot, as the manna did when it was hoarded.  God will never let you hold a spiritual thing for yourself; it has to be given back to Him that He may make it a blessing to others."
My blessings are like blessings of all of God's children:  the blessings of time, the blessings of talents and gifts, and the blessings of treasure.  All of these must be returned to God in order for them to bless others.  And isn't that the primary reason God gives them to us?  Have I truly given all of my blessings back to my Yahweh?

PRAYER
Lord Jesus, I confess that I have not always given every blessing back to You.  I have hoarded up in my heart the blessing family, pridefully stroking it and parading it before people who do not have a family like I have been blessed with.  Forgive my insensitivity; cleanse me from all unrighteousness; teach me ways that I can share the experience of family with those less fortunate than me.  And thank you for blessing me this way.

Lord Jesus, I confess that I have not known how you want me to share Spiritual Healing with others.  Because of my insecurity and lack of know-how to spread its word to others, I have left the books hidden away in a cold storage unit.  I desire greatly for You to use this "talent" You gave to me to bless others.  Open my heart to receive Your plan for the distribution of these books.  I want to see them go out and be fruitful, but I have not know how to accomplish it, and I never asked You.   Forgive me for that, and thank you for blessing me this way. 

Lord Jesus, I confess that I have not been a wise user of my time.  You have blessed me to be at home all these years, rather than be in the work place.  Thank you SO VERY MUCH for such an awesome blessing.  I know that I have often used this blessing of  time for good.  But I also know that I waste a lot of precious time on ridiculous and foolish endeavors.  I want you to have all of this time back, because I truly want to be a blessing to others in 2016.  Help me know how to do that to a HUGE degree!

Following the Lodestar

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January 5, 2016

"Jesus answered, 'Where I am going you cannot follow Me now, but you will follow later."    (John 13:36)

Ancient mariners were well familiar with the value of a lodestar.  It was any prominent star in the night sky over the ocean that was their guiding light, long before the days of GPS.  They looked to the stars to navigate their journey accurately.  Spiritually speaking, Jesus and His Spirit are the Lodestar I am to be looking to . . . for inspiration, for a model to emulate, and as a guide in all the moments of my life.

In the first half of my days "in Jesus", I was following my Lodestar, but from a very external place.  It was out of my flesh and my will that I began to follow.  But I am finding in this second half of my journey "in Jesus", it is becoming a following that flows out of acts of 'internal martyrdom'.  It is the kind of following that comes from keeping my eye on the Lodestar in everything in each day.  It is a following that comes from continual crucifixion of my flesh in order to partake of the inspiration of the Spirit, to imitate the life of Jesus modeled before me in the Word, and to obey the directions of my Lodestar Guide.

If that is to be the case, then I can depend and rely on nothing but the Lodestar.  I must lay down every other form of lodestar, primarily me!    Jesus and His Spirit must be the ONLY Lodestar.  My vows, my resolutions for the new year, my determination and will can never execute transformation in me.  There is no power in me that is not the Lodestar at work.

PRAYER
Jesus, my Lodestar, come and invade me by Your Spirit.  Let me no longer trust is past changes, but instead, let me look always forward and upward to the new changes You desire in me.  Let me this year come to the full end of myself and all of my wicked self-sufficiency!  I want to simply follow You, my faithful Morning Lodestar.   The 'later' has now arrived for me.  It is time to follow only You!